Disappointment

I find few things more disappointing than when we come to realize that sometimes the people who should care, are the ones who dont. When its those who you do the most for, who can rely on you for anything, are the ones you cant rely on at all. Any relationship should be a give and take one. And I'm not saying that we're all out to get something, I'm talking about small things. A kind gesture can be enough. A compliment, asking how someone's day was, those kind of things. But it's often the people we want to rely on the most, that let us down the hardest. I mean...hey, I'm not asking to be told how wonderful I am 70 times a day (once a day will do just fine), or to be constantly praised, or to be given things in return for favors...but to be let down when asking for the smallest favors? To have to ask other people for help because those who promised help arent around when it comes down to it (and when I say help I'm talking about things like "hey, please lend me $10 for gas" or "please come look at cars with me so I dont get ripped off"). Really is that asking too much? Because it wasnt too much to ask me to drag my ass all over town to run errands. What is that you say? I offered? Sure I did, because I said I'd help, so I stick to my word. But do I look like I want to sit in traffic for several hours getting to several different places that certain people are too lazy to go to themselves? Did I ever mention how I love love LOVE having my phonecalls ignored when I'm calling about something I was asked to call about? Do I give out the vibe that I enjoy asking random strangers to do things for me like change my tire because a certain person cant be fucked to answer the phone? Apparently I do. But then again, I can only blame myself. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice....Some people just have to be given up on, some people are just not worth the everlasting grain of hope that the next time they will pull through. And you know what? Being there for someone at your own convenience really just doesn't cut it anymore. Yes this was a completely pointless and certainly not very entertaining mini-rant.

Oh Baby

Soon you will be all mine <3

Am I seriously "Oh Baby"ing over a car? Yes I am!!!I've wanted this car for the past couple of months and after years of borrowed cars, rented cars, ghetto mobiles,gross taxis (more here http://peculiarnormalities.blogspot.com/2010/03/transportation.html)  I cant wait to be able to call the Lexus mine <3 =) and since I'll be paying for it myself I can pride myself on being one of the few people I know who never had a car bought for them. This is one of the reasons I must love my job. And must keep on loving it. No matter how often the servers are down and stuff doesnt work.

Please.Fix.This

Dear Company I work for,

Please be aware of the following :

• If you do not fix the servers, our computers will freeze.
• When they are not freezing, we still cant do any work without the servers.
• When it becomes an ongoing joke in the department that things have worked for a whole 57 minutes without interruption, and that we were starting to get worried...that is not a good thing.
• When my Director suggests his 6 year old daughter should apply for the position of Head of IT, since apparently all you need to hold that position here is some knowledge of computers, which his 6 year old has, that is not a good thing.
• When this problem has persisted for the past 10 working days, you make employees cranky.
• When these employees are cranky, we will do what we are not really supposed to do and play solitaire, read blogs, blog, use the company lines for personal calls, play any game we can find online, trick you to install flash on our computer so that we can play said games, [insert further probably frowned upon actions here].
• You make time seem to come to a stand-still. ...Most people, unless exceptionally lazy, will only enjoy about an hour or so of the "i cant do any work" scenario, then we get bored, then we look at the clock every 10 minutes, and realize that yes, it really has only been 10 minutes since we checked the last time, not the 8.5 hours we estimated.
• You will make us restless, you will make us feel unheard, you will make us drink so much coffee that in the few minutes a day the server IS working, we are too riled up to focus.

Please. Fix. This. Soon!!!!!

Sincerely,

Bored to Tears Employee (and her entire department)

Last week I said WIWSW (Wish It Was Still Wednesday), today, without a doubt, I'm thinking TGIT! A slow work week just makes the longing for the weekend to arrive so much stronger.

Would I believe myself?

So last night, after two not so fun nights/days with the significant other, I went to sleep around midnight...and woke up at 3:25 a.m., to find 9 missed calls and two text messages, stating a) that he knows im in town and b)that i'm out clubbing. Now first to explain the "in town" statement: I live about 30 minutes from what we consider town. Then to explain the 9 missed calls....I never miss calls. Usually I can be in a coma-like sleep and I will still here my phone ring. Now I dont know if the universe or whoever just thought it would be one great cosmic joke to make me miss not just one, or two, but nine calls, but I did. So I go and call back from my housephone to prove that I am indeed home, because that should prove it right? Wrong! Because according to him, since its been over an hour that he started calling me, I could very easily have left town, gone home and called him from the housephone. To make matters worse, he is CONVINCED he saw me in town. He was driving by with his friend and saw me somewhere, and thought I'd call when I'm done, but not only did I not call, I also just "ignored" his calls. Now I know he couldnt have seen me, because I hadnt been in town all day, and I was in my bed and asleep when he was calling. Also, I a) am unfortunately not capable of ignoring more than one of his calls and then I still call back after about 2 minutes because I cant handle not answering, no matter how angry I am, and b) I always let him know when I'm in town, and c) he never has cared what I do or dont do so I have no reason to lie about having been in town and finally d)I've been busting my butt trying to help him with stuff and I'm not doing that because I have nothing better to do, I'm doing that because I care, because I'm nice, and because due to certain issues in the past, I feel the need to prove myself, that I am capable of doing good things. .....so with all those things combined, to me, logically, it doesnt even make sense that I would ignore his calls. Nor does it make sense that I'd miss out on a potential chance to see him, nor does it make any sense that I'd put myself in a potentially monumental fuck-up position where i'd not only go into town and lie about it but also be sneaky and deceptive and ignore 9 calls, because if I did that, then everything I've been doing, all the shit I've been taking, would have been for nothing. And no one likes doing things for nothing. But no matter what I said, and no matter how often I appealed to him to use logic, he of course wouldn't believe me. And the biggest reason why he wont believe me is "he saw me". Now I wonder....if I was convinced I'd seen him, or anyone else for that matter, even just in passing...and that person never ignored/missed my calls, and I called...9 times, and they didnt answer...would I believe them that they were at home and in bed? Probably not. FML, why cant I just have nice, normal, enjoyable weekends?

TGIT Continued....

• Devise brilliant plan with significant other ensuring he gets an accident report stating he was in fact not just late, but in an accident at 8:15 this morning, this being his reason for not making it to the exam in time ✓
• Having college agree to let him take the exam in a few days and thereby actually giving him a few extra days to study ✓
• Having to spend a total of 3 hours stuck in the car either in traffic or while waiting for the accident report in 40 degrees (Celsius) heat ✓
• Looking more like something the dog spat out than ever ✓
• Feeling bad for being part of this brilliant albeit not quite honest plan, but also feeling too guilt ridden to not be part of it (wtf is wrong with me?!)✓
• Being snapped at afterwards for not insisting the time on the report states 8:15 instead of the actual time of 1:13 pm (even though there is a comment in the report saying the accident really took place at 8:15) ✓
• Being given the impression that it is an absolute matter of life or death to have that report printed out asap and being asked to call as soon as report is available online ✓
• Being ignored when calling to report that report is available ✓
• Being hung up on when calling to report that report is available ✓
• Being told poor poor darling significant other is sick and sleeping and do I NOT GET THE POINT and being hung up on again (regardless of the fact that poor poor me is also tired and sick but NOT at home in bed, instead sitting behind my desk at work as I will be doing for the next 4 - 5 hours) ✓
• Feeling like I am dating a prized idiot but wondering if its not me who is the prized idiot for putting up with it ✓
• Making excuses for crappy behavior on his side because well...I do know what he's like and he does have his good sides, lots of them ✓
• Still feeling like a prized idiot ✓

I vote to implement WIWSW (Wish It Was Still Wednesday) or alternatively WIWWA (Wish It Was Wednesday Again).

TGIT ?

So over here, the weekends are on Fridays and Saturdays, so I suppose we'd have to adjust TGIF to TGIT.
After having spent the entire week waiting for the weekend to arrive, I should have been aware that things just wouldnt quite go my way. Lets see what we've had so far, and this at 10 a.m. :

• Trying to wake significant other up for his final exam...four times, yet falling asleep myself hence making him so late that they wouldnt let him into the final exam ✓
• Having to ask work for a second advance, one day after payday, after having worked in said company for less than two months, because rent check was due two days ago and one now fears the roomates check will bounce ✓
• Only finding parking which will probably result in a parking ticket as well as a scratch or two from the other oh so talented drivers out there ✓
•  Coming to work looking like something the dog spat out because lack of time + wet hair + major humidity =...something that looks like the dog spat it out ✓
• Waiting for consequences of significant other missing final exam (note: this is the FINAL exam before graduation from college) i.e. being held solely responsible and probably not being spoken to for a while, and potentially delaying graduation ✓
• Having offered to take on work from a different department in an effort to look oh so pro-active but really not having the slightest idea what to do with given work because...its from a different department ✓

 TGIT? I think not, I'd quite happily rewind back to Wednesday for now!

Trust Issues anyone?

So, question : if someone has been running around like a headless chicken, feeling like they're working two jobs and have two bosses instead of the one real job they have (the paying one) and is really really going out of their way to help someone set up a company...and in fact is doing MORE to make sure this setup runs smoothly than the company owner themselves, and is getting nothing in return for this as its done as a favor...where in all of this does the accusation "you were probably busy getting laid" fit in?!  Is it just me or does that not even remotely make sense? Why would anyone assume that person a) has the time to go out and get laid and b) has the desire to get laid by anyone other than the person they're pretty much pushing themselves to the brink of exhaustion for? I'm talking about 11 hour days in the office while madly multitasking to set up the other company. I'm talking about doing 6 hour errand runs and then waiting around for someone to sign papers that need signing. It probably involves a fair share of stupidity to do all this for someone who cant even slap a label on feelings, but regardless, wouldn't that be enough to prove to just about ANYONE that that person is cared about and really not about to be betrayed? What is wrong with people and why do some people have such a strong desire to push people away even when they are being given no reason whatsoever to do so?(and yes yes I know the whole rah rah rah about difficult childhoods and its a defense mechanism "I don't let anyone in therefore I avoid getting hurt", but surely at SOME point, time alone (over a year now) should help prove that maybe, just maybe that person can be trusted just a little)). ugh...rant!

The Beginning Part II

So I decided to give blogging another shot. I say another shot because a while ago a friend of mine and I decided to start a blog in order to entertain ourselves (http://peculiarnormalities.blogspot.com), as well as to keep in touch. This didnt last very long as we ended up speaking every day and then having nothing left to tell ourselves in the blog. So I thought, I'll make my own, which is not directed at a certain person or people. And while I was creating this one I thought...this looks vaguely familiar....and yes it does, because thats when I remembered, I already have a personal blog. I even remember "finding" it a while back and being surprised at its very existence, and reading the post in it and remembering the event posted about, and very very vaguely remembering posting it. So I decided to not create a new one, but continue with the old abandoned one (and abandoned it was, after just one single entry). But then I sat here and stared at the screen for a while and...changed my mind again. Because while a lot is the same, a lot has also changed since I started the other blog. New home, new job, new outlooks on things...and it just...didnt...feel right. I felt like new beginnings, even if just in some areas of my life, deserved a whole new blog, even if that means further abandoning the old one, even if I'm still fully aware no one may ever read this but me. To anyone who does read this and is interested, the "old" blog is at http://rainbowssandbutterflies.blogspot.com . A brief update to anyone who actually reads it, the sink was finally fixed but is now no longer used by me as I dont live in that house anymore. The best friend is no longer the best friend and her jailed boyfriend of the time is no longer in jail, and is also no longer her boyfriend. However while he wont feature in this blog, she might still pop up every once in a while. The man of the moment in said blogpost, is still the man of the moment and of every moment and will hopefully be the man of many many many more moments. Even if he drives me to the brink of insanity on a regular basis. But thats what they do right?

With that being said...I will wholeheartedly attempt to not abandon this blog. And if I happen to end up having people read it, I hope you will be at least partially entertained by it.